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What Is Blame-Shifting And Why Is It Harmful?

What is blame-shifting?

BLAME-SHIFTING is the redirection of responsibility for one person’s actions, behavior, or mistakes onto another person, group, or thing. It is a destructive act of deception that shirks personal responsibility and destroys trust in relationships. It is a tactic commonly used in the context of narcissistic abuse.

What Is Blame-Shifting?

What Are Some Examples?

Here are some of the ways blame-shifting can show up:

How Might It Sound?

Some of the ways people may try to redirect responsibility for an outcome by blame-shifting are:

You made me lash out at you!Person A is blame-shifting their anger management issues on to Person B to avoid taking responsibility and learning to control their emotions.
You’re the reason why I drink.Person A is blame-shifting their choice to use alcohol on to Person B to liberate themselves from responsibility for their actions and facing their substance abuse issues.
My family/friends don’t like you so I am divesting from our relationship.Person A is blame-shifting their loss of interest in their relationship with Person B on to their family/friends. This is a combination of two psychological defense tactics: blame-shifting and triangulation.
It’s your fault I was unfaithful because you let yourself go.Person A is blame-shifting their lack of integrity and restraint on to Person B by justifying their betrayal through fault-finding.
I was perfectly happy until you came along.Person A is evading responsibility for their mental state by blame-shifting on to Person B instead of recognizing that they alone are responsible for their happiness.
I’m too busy with my job to make time for our relationship.Person A is blame-shifting their emotional neglect of Person B on to their job instead of acknowledging that they choose their priorities.
It’s your fault I run out of money because your standards are too high.Person A is blame-shift their financial problems on to Person B instead of working on their boundaries and communication skills.

Why Do People Blame Shift?

Summary

In conclusion, blame-shifting is the transfer of responsibility from one person or group to another person or group. It is a toxic behavior as it diminishes trust between individuals, collectives, and institutions. It’s wise to confront the behavior and resolve it to cultivate trust and accountability.


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