You spent years shrinking. Years walking on eggshells. Years measuring every word, every look, every reaction — not because you wanted to, but because you had to. Survival inside a toxic relationship trains you to disappear. And when it is finally over, the question nobody prepares you for lands like something heavy: Who am I now? With a bit of courage and tenacity, that question can become an invitation to a new beginning.
That is exactly what the First Annual You Get To Be YOU This Time series is built around — the moment survivors stop managing someone else’s reality and start rebuilding their own. I was honored to be part of this expert-led, survivor-centered conversation, alongside some of the most respected voices in the field of narcissistic abuse recovery and I got to speak about a topic that is close to my heart: male survivors.
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What Is the You Get To Be YOU This Time Series?
You Get To Be YOU This Time is a podcast series created by Veronika Archer with one clear purpose: to help survivors of toxic and abusive relationships break free from negative patterns and return to themselves. Veronika brought together over 30 internationally recognized experts across 30 episodes, each one focused on a different facet of recovery, healing, and authentic self-reclamation.
Each episode runs approximately 30 minutes. The format is direct, substantive, and survivor-focused — not theoretical. Every conversation is rooted in what survivors actually need to hear. The series also offered 30 free recovery tools, one from each expert, giving listeners something concrete to take away and apply to their own healing.
The series reflects something I believe deeply: that recovery is not a single conversation. It is a mosaic. Different survivors connect with different voices, different frameworks, different entry points. Having 30 experts speak to 30 dimensions of that experience gives survivors real range — and real choices in how they begin to find their way back to themselves.
Manya Wakefield on Male Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse
My episode focused on male survivors of narcissistic abuse — a population that is often misunderstood in mainstream recovery spaces. This is a topic I return to in my direct practice work, and one that requires careful handling.
Coercive control is a gendered crime. The research is consistent on this: the overwhelming majority of victims are women, and the overwhelming majority of convicted perpetrators are men. Holding that framework accurately is not optional — it is a matter of professional integrity. And within that framework, male survivors exist, their experiences are documented, and they deserve recognition that does not come loaded with caveats or contamination from perpetrator behavior patterns.
In my episode, I spoke directly to what male survivors of narcissistic abuse and coercive control experience: the specific barriers they face when seeking help, the way their symptoms are often misread by practitioners, and what genuine recovery looks like for this population. My years of direct work with survivors in severe and treatment-resistant presentations has given me a clear picture of what these clients need — and what the field is still failing to provide.
If this topic resonates with you, the full article on male survivors of narcissistic abuse goes deeper into the research, the patterns, and the recovery pathway.
The Full Expert Panel
The series brought together a remarkable range of voices, including Dr. Ramani S. Durvasula, Dr. Brenda Wade, Ashley Berges, Caroline Strawson, Darlene Lancer, Duane Robert, Dr. George K. Simon, Dr. Gary Sayler, Katherine Woodward Thomas, Laura Charanza, Dr. Marni Feuerman, Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, Melanie Tonia Evans, Dr. Michael Kinsey, Randi Fine, and Tracy Malone, among others.
Why Recovery Needs More Than One Voice
One of the most important things I have learned in seven years of direct work with survivors of narcissistic abuse and coercive control is that recovery rarely happens in a straight line, and it rarely responds to a single approach. Survivors arrive at healing through different doors. Some need the research. Some need the personal story. Some need the practical framework. Some need to hear their experience named plainly, without softening.
Series like You Get To Be YOU This Time matter because they create space for all of those entry points. Thirty different voices, thirty different angles — and within that breadth, the chance for a survivor to hear exactly what they needed to hear at exactly the right moment.
If you are in early recovery, this series is worth exploring. It covers trauma bonding, gaslighting, signs of narcissistic abuse, and the deeper work of identity reconstruction — all of which are addressed in the CTRM™ framework used in my own practice.
The Question That Drives Recovery
Veronika Archer built this series around a question that sits at the heart of everything this platform does: Who do you get to be, now that you are free?
That question sounds simple. It is not. For survivors who have spent months or years in a relationship defined by coercive control, the self does not simply snap back into place when the relationship ends. Identity reconstruction is real work. It takes time, it takes the right frameworks, and it takes hearing from people who understand what was taken from you — and what it costs to take it back.
The stages of recovery from narcissistic abuse do not move in a straight line. There will be setbacks. There will be grief. There will be moments when the relationship feels more real than the self that is trying to emerge. All of that is part of the process. And all of it is survivable.
You deserve a life in which you are not performing safety. You deserve relationships built on respect, not fear. You deserve to take up space. The series, this platform, and every resource gathered here exists to support you in getting there.
Take the Next Step in Your Recovery
If you are ready to go deeper, I offer a free exploration call for survivors who want to understand what recovery coaching might look like for their specific situation. Book a free 15-minute consultation.
You can also learn more about the narcissistic abuse recovery coaching work offered here, including the CTRM™ framework for adult survivors and the TENEL™ framework for Adult Children of Narcissists.
Recovery is not a destination you reach. It is a practice you build. And you do not have to build it alone.
Related Links
Frequently Asked Questions
You Get To Be YOU This Time is a podcast series created by Veronika Archer featuring over 30 internationally recognized experts on narcissistic abuse, toxic relationships, and recovery. Each episode runs approximately 30 minutes and focuses on a specific dimension of healing, from trauma bonding and identity reconstruction to rebuilding trust and authentic connection. The series also offered 30 free recovery tools from the expert panel.
The expert panel included Manya Wakefield (Narcissistic Abuse Rehab), Dr. Ramani S. Durvasula, Dr. Brenda Wade, Dr. George K. Simon, Dr. Michael Kinsey, Katherine Woodward Thomas, Darlene Lancer, Melanie Tonia Evans, Ashley Berges, Caroline Strawson, Duane Robert, Dr. Gary Sayler, Laura Charanza, Dr. Marni Feuerman, Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, Randi Fine, Tracy Malone, and others.
Manya’s episode focused on male survivors of narcissistic abuse — a population that is significantly underserved in mainstream recovery spaces. She drew on her years of direct professional work with survivors in severe and treatment-resistant presentations to address the specific barriers male survivors face, how their symptoms are often misread, and what genuine recovery looks like for this group. The discussion held the gendered framework of coercive control accurately while offering full recognition to male survivors’ experiences.
This platform — Narcissistic Abuse Rehab — offers a comprehensive library of evidence-based and practitioner-informed resources on recovery from narcissistic abuse and coercive control. Key starting points include the stages of recovery from narcissistic abuse, the healing strategies cornerstone article, and the signs of narcissistic abuse resource. One-to-one recovery coaching is also available.
The Coercive Trauma Recovery Method™ (CTRM™) is a recovery framework developed by Manya Wakefield for adult survivors of narcissistic abuse and coercive control in intimate partnerships, family of origin, and workplace contexts. It addresses four domains in sequence: Pattern Recognition, Nervous System Recalibration, Identity Reconstruction, and Boundary Architecture. The framework has been reviewed by Dr. Michael Kinsey, PhD, clinical psychologist at the New School for Social Research.
Coercive control is a pattern of behavior used to dominate, isolate, and control a partner over time. It is a gendered crime, overwhelmingly perpetrated by men against women, and it creates what researcher Evan Stark describes as a personal regime of domination. Narcissistic abuse is a subtype of coercive control with tactics that include gaslighting, trauma bonding, and DARVO. Understanding the distinction is important for both survivors and practitioners. More is available at what is coercive control.
Manya Wakefield is a narcissistic abuse recovery coach, coercive trauma specialist, and the developer of the Coercive Trauma Recovery Method™ and TENEL™ (Traumatic Exposure to Narcissism in Early Life) — proprietary recovery frameworks built from seven years of direct professional work with survivors of coercive control, narcissistic abuse, and Adult Children of Narcissists. Both frameworks have been reviewed by Dr. Michael Kinsey, PhD, clinical psychologist, New School for Social Research. She is the founder of Narcissistic Abuse Rehab, a global social impact platform launched in 2019 to support survivors through evidence-based recovery frameworks. Manya is the author of Are You In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship (2019), a resource used in domestic violence recovery groups worldwide. Her original research contributions include the Global Coercive Control Legislation Index (2020) — the first systematic index of its kind on the web — and the Global Femicide Legislation Index (2026), comprehensive legal references used by advocates, legal professionals, and policymakers internationally, cited in peer-reviewed publications including the Southern Illinois University Law Journal, Palgrave Macmillan, and the University of Agder. Her expertise has been featured in Newsweek, Elle, Cosmopolitan, HuffPost, Parade, and YourTango. She hosts the Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast, available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Amazon Music. All content on this site reflects Manya's direct professional experience working with survivors of narcissistic abuse and coercive control, her published research, and her ongoing advocacy work.
