Episode 18. Why Normal Conflict Resolution Strategies Don’t Work With High Conflict Personalities 

Narcissistic Personality By Jun 18, 2023

In Episode 18 of the Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast, we explore the topic ‘Why Normal Conflict Resolution Strategies Don’t Work with High Conflict Personalities,’ in an exclusive interview with high conflict strategist Samantha Drum, Esq.

About Samantha Drum, Esq.

Samantha is a high-conflict strategist and personal injury attorney with years of experience managing high-conflict people and situations, as well as coaching others to do the same. 

After facing several high-conflict personalities at the start of her career, she realized a harsh truth—law school did NOT prepare her for managing high-conflict behavior or extreme personalities.  She decided to take the time to study high-conflict personalities. She learned how high-conflict personalities work, the way they think, and what causes them to go off. Then she learned to implement plans for managing the situation so she could minimize the damage they cause and maximize her control of the situation.

Today, as the founder of Controlled Confrontation, she is empowering others to do the same.

“A high conflict personality is a person who engages in patterns of thinking and behavior that tend to escalate conflict on a continous level rather than de-escalate conflict or try to resolve conflict.”

Samantha Drum, HIgh Conflict Strategist

Episode Overview

In this episode, we talk about:

  • What is a high conflict personality?
  • What is the typical mindset of a high conflict person
  • What are the characteristics of high conflict personalities
  • Lessons in dysfunctional narcissism from the HBO series Succession
  • Boundary-setting with high conflict people
  • Lessons from the life of the late Tina Turner
  • Lessons from the long legal con of John Meehan, the subject of Dirty John
  • Protecting yourself from high conflict personalities
  • Lessons from the high conflict divorce of Ioan Gruffudd and Alice Evans
  • How to create positive outcomes with a high conflict person
  • Self-care when dealing with high conflict people
  • Tools for navigating arguments with and smear campaigns by high conflict people
  • Analysis of Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise’s high conflict divorce

“It is very common for high conflict personality to use estrangement tactics with their kids.”

Samantha Drum, High Conflict Strategist

Where to Listen

The Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast airs on these fine podcast platforms.

Resources and Links


The content of this podcast expresses the content creator’s thoughts and opinions. It provides general information only. Please seek the relevant professional or specialist advice before taking or refraining from any action based on the information in this video.


Manya Wakefield is a recovery coach specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy and coercive trauma. Her expertise has been featured in publications such as Newsweek, Elle, Cosmopolitan, and Huffington Post. In 2019, she launched the social impact platform Narcissistic Abuse Rehab, building a global audience through human rights advocacy. The same year, she published the book ‘Are You In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship,’ which is used in domestic violence recovery groups around the world. In 2020, Manya developed The Coercive Control Legislation Global Database. She is also the host of The Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast, which is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Amazon.