In Episode 18 of the Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast, we explore the topic ‘Why Normal Conflict Resolution Strategies Don’t Work with High Conflict Personalities,’ in an exclusive interview with high conflict strategist Samantha Drum, Esq.
About Samantha Drum, Esq.
Samantha is a high-conflict strategist and personal injury attorney with years of experience managing high-conflict people and situations, as well as coaching others to do the same.
After facing several high-conflict personalities at the start of her career, she realized a harsh truth—law school did NOT prepare her for managing high-conflict behavior or extreme personalities. She decided to take the time to study high-conflict personalities. She learned how high-conflict personalities work, the way they think, and what causes them to go off. Then she learned to implement plans for managing the situation so she could minimize the damage they cause and maximize her control of the situation.
Today, as the founder of Controlled Confrontation, she is empowering others to do the same.
“A high conflict personality is a person who engages in patterns of thinking and behavior that tend to escalate conflict on a continous level rather than de-escalate conflict or try to resolve conflict.”
Samantha Drum, HIgh Conflict Strategist
Episode Overview
In this episode, we talk about:
- What is a high conflict personality?
- What is the typical mindset of a high conflict person
- What are the characteristics of high conflict personalities
- Lessons in dysfunctional narcissism from the HBO series Succession
- Boundary-setting with high conflict people
- Lessons from the life of the late Tina Turner
- Lessons from the long legal con of John Meehan, the subject of Dirty John
- Protecting yourself from high conflict personalities
- Lessons from the high conflict divorce of Ioan Gruffudd and Alice Evans
- How to create positive outcomes with a high conflict person
- Self-care when dealing with high conflict people
- Tools for navigating arguments with and smear campaigns by high conflict people
- Analysis of Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise’s high conflict divorce
“It is very common for high conflict personality to use estrangement tactics with their kids.”
Samantha Drum, High Conflict Strategist
Where to Listen
The Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast airs on these fine podcast platforms.
- Amazon Music
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- Soundcloud
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- Spotify
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Resources and Links
- O’Neil, Lorena (2023, May 25) ‘Tina Turner Was Open About Her Abuse. Now, Her Legacy Is Saving Survivors.’ Rolling Stone.
- Naftulin, Julia (2023, April 16) ‘Narcissism, Psychopathy, and More – Here’s What Therapists See In Each Key Player on “Succession.”’ Insider.
- Hippensteel, Chris. (2023, June 3) ‘Ioan Gruffudd’s Daughter Files Restraining Order Against Him and Girlfriend.’ The Daily Beast.
- Goffard, Christopher. (2017, October 1) ‘Dirty John.’ The Los Angeles Times.
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast expresses the content creator’s thoughts and opinions. It provides general information only. Please seek the relevant professional or specialist advice before taking or refraining from any action based on the information in this video.
Manya Wakefield is a narcissistic abuse recovery coach, coercive trauma specialist, and the developer of the Coercive Trauma Recovery Method™ and TENEL™ (Traumatic Exposure to Narcissism in Early Life) — proprietary recovery frameworks built from seven years of direct professional work with survivors of coercive control, narcissistic abuse, and Adult Children of Narcissists. Both frameworks have been reviewed by Dr. Michael Kinsey, PhD, clinical psychologist, New School for Social Research. She is the founder of Narcissistic Abuse Rehab, a global social impact platform launched in 2019 to support survivors through evidence-based recovery frameworks. Manya is the author of Are You In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship (2019), a resource used in domestic violence recovery groups worldwide. Her original research contributions include the Global Coercive Control Legislation Index (2020) — the first systematic index of its kind on the web — and the Global Femicide Legislation Index (2026), comprehensive legal references used by advocates, legal professionals, and policymakers internationally, cited in peer-reviewed publications including the Southern Illinois University Law Journal, Palgrave Macmillan, and the University of Agder. Her expertise has been featured in Newsweek, Elle, Cosmopolitan, HuffPost, Parade, and YourTango. She hosts the Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast, available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Amazon Music. All content on this site reflects Manya's direct professional experience working with survivors of narcissistic abuse and coercive control, her published research, and her ongoing advocacy work.
