* Trigger Warning: This article discusses sensitive subject matter. Reader discretion is advised. *
Per People, a text message exchange between the former couple revealed discussions about acts of physical violence that allegedly occurred in London six months prior to his arrest and domestic violence charges in New York. Ironically, the nature of the physical violence he reportedly inflicted in London mirrored the accusations he faces in New York. Moreover, his messages to Ms. Jabbari clearly show psychological manipulation.
Majors Discouraged Jabbari From Seeking Medical Attention
On September 22, 2022, Jonathan Majors exerted control over Grace Jabbari, discouraging her from seeking medical treatment for an injury he allegedly inflicted. He wrote, “I fear you have no perspective of what could happen if you go to the hospital. They will ask you questions, and as I don’t think you actually protect us, it could lead to investigation even if you do lie, and they suspect something.”
Observe the calm and level-headed clarity in the statement from the 34-year-old actor. A put-down. An accusation. A guilt trip. Moreover, take note of his unrestrained selfishness. Mr. Majors was not at all concerned about Ms. Jabbari’s wellbeing despite the fact that she had sustained a head injury. Instead, he focused on the potential consequences her seeking medical attention might have on him. He worried that he might face legal consequences for whatever he might have done to her.
His confidence in his control over Ms. Jabbari is as striking as it is disturbing. He shamelessly expected her to prioritize shielding him from the consequences of his alleged actions above her health. Whether or not Ms. Jabbari might have been suffering from a concussion was of no matter to him.
Ms. Jabbari promised to cover-up whatever transpired between them and sent him a docile response, “I will tell them I bumped my head.”
She cried as she read the messages aloud in court and was unable to go on. The Assistant District Attorney Kelli Galaway finished sharing the texts on her behalf, reading the messages aloud ,”I will tell the doctor I bumped my head if I go. I’m going to give it one more day, but I can’t sleep and I need some stronger pain killers. That’s all: why would I tell them what really happened when it’s clear I want to be with you?”
Jonathan Majors had complete psychological control over Grace Jabbari.
Using Threats As A Manipulation Tactic
To stop Grace Jabbari from seeking medical attention for her head injury, Jonathan Majors threatened to take his own life. This is a common manipulation tactic used by abusers to control victim-survivors. Furthermore, it is an indicator for a particularly dangerous type of abuser.1 Depending on its context, suicidality can be a forerunner for murder/suicides, filicides, and familicides.2
He pressured Ms. Jabbari, sending her an alarming threat, dripping with overblown self-pity and utterly devoid of any remorse for the harm he allegedly caused her, “Last night I considered killing myself versus coming home. I need love, too. Or maybe I’m such a monster and a horrible man, I don’t deserve it. And I should just kill myself. In this way, my existence is miserable. I want to die.”
In this instance, Ms. Jabbari had previously confided in him that her high school boyfriend had taken his own life. Mr. Majors appears to weaponize her trauma by exploiting the sensitive information she confided in him and claiming he will follow suit and re-traumatize her. He is manipulating her and holding her emotionally hostage with his threats. The subtext of his words is classic coercive control: do as I say or else. Moreover, he is speaking to her as if his alleged violence doesn’t matter and she is completely under his spell.
Intimate Partner Terrorism
Sadly, Jonathan Majors’ manipulation tactics were successful and he deterred Ms. Jabbari from going to the hospital. She wrote back compliantly, “I will not go to the doctor if you do not feel safe with me doing so, or don’t trust me to. I promise you I would never mention you but understand your fear.”
The exchange veered into the absurd as the Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania star went on to chastise Ms. Jabbari for failing to embrace him after their altercation. He is setting standards and letting her know how he expects her to behave as they move through the cycle of abuse.
Knowing she had experienced a traumatic loss and coldly heaping more guilt on her, he cruelly wrote, “I will probably kill myself, it’s really not worth contemplating anymore. I’m a monster, a horrible man, not capable of love. I’m killing myself soon.”
She wrote back, clearly frightened., “Jonathan, you can’t say this, I’m going to have to tell someone.”
Later, Mr. Majors would arm his defense lawyer, Priya Chaudhry, with knowledge of Ms. Jabbari’s traumatic experience. During a brutal cross-examination, they used it against her.
An Long History of Coercive Control
As the court heard evidence of his emotional and physical abuse of Ms. Jabbari, Mr. Majors avoided eye contact and kept his head down. His enabling mother, sister, and girlfriend, actor Meagan Good, remained by his side.
On the first day of the proceedings, he wore a flamboyant beret and dark sunglasses. However, he opted for less theatrical attire during his subsequent court appearances. Throughout the trial Mr. Majors has prominently displayed a bible as he sashayed past the paparazzi. Considering the contents of his texts to Ms. Jabbari, it’s a wonder the holy book did not spontaneously combust in his hands.
In November, the Metropolitan Police in London confirmed an ongoing investigation into a report that Ms. Jabbari was physically assaulted by the Mr. Majors. Several women are cooperating with the Manhattan District Attorney’s office regarding Majors‘ extensive history of coercive control. Furthermore, Marvel Studios is reevaluating Majors’ role in the MCU in light of the mounting allegations of gender based violence against him.
- K. Devries et.al., Violence against women is strongly associated with suicide attempts: evidence from the WHO multi-country study on women’s health and domestic violence against women, 73 Soc. Sci. Med 79-86 (Jul. 2011). ↩︎
- Bernie Auchter, National Institute of Justice (NIJ), Men Who Murder Their Families: What the Research Tells Us, available at, https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/230412.pdf. ↩︎