THE FALSE SELF IS A FAKE PERSONA dysfunctional people invent as a psychological defense mechanism against re-living adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), such as traumatic stress. A child’s construction of a false self is an adaptive process. Children may develop it to cope with unmet needs, especially the absence of support the child requires to differentiate themselves from their caregivers. When…
FLYING MONKEYS ARE ENABLERS who act on behalf of narcissists. They are usually friends and relatives who serve as surrogates, emissaries, fixers and drones in the narcissist’s network. Moreover, they make it possible for narcissists to carry out their campaigns of abuse by proxy. A person may rationalize playing the flying monkey role for a variety of reasons. Here are…
IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT the ability to experience genuine feelings of joy, love, or compassion. It’s hardly a stretch to suggest that one’s internal ecosystem would be a bleak and desolate landscape. However, if you were to open up the mind of a pathological narcissist and look inside, what you would find is a psychological wasteland riddled with persecutory objects. The ambiguity of malignant…
CHILDREN CAN BE TARGETS for coercive control in dysfunctional families, according to Dr. Evan Stark, author of the book Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life. Research studies show that the coercive control of children occurs in 45% of families where domestic violence is practiced. It is used as part of an abusive partner’s wider campaign of intimate partner…
DARVO is an acronym for Deny, Attack, Reverse, Victim, and Offender. It is a manipulation tactic used to avoid being held to account.
GENDER STEREOTYPES sometimes make it difficult for men and boys to recognize when they are targets of narcissistic abuse. The prevailing assumption is that men cannot be victims of domestic violence – this is false. Current research shows that 1 out of 7 survivors are male. The belief that men can never be victims can create blind spots, leaving men and…
THE BUZZ OF MY SMARTPHONE broke my concentration. I picked it up and checked my messages. A grief-stricken family member had texted me to let me know my cousin Francis had died. Frantic phone calls ensued as I struggled to come to terms with my shock and sorrow. A hidden heart condition had claimed his life. He died five days…
A PATHOLOGICAL NARCISSIST HAS MASTERED the art of inflicting psychological devastation without ever raising a hand. Their skillful manipulation of people’s perceptions and emotions leaves a trail of bloodless crimes in their wake.
ACQUIRED SITUATIONAL NARCISSISM (ASN) is a construct developed by the late Robert B. Millman, a professor of psychiatry at Cornell Medical School, to describe the late-onset narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) he identified in some of his celebrity patients. NPD usually develops in adolescence or early adulthood, whereas ASN can develop in the late teen years or deep into adulthood. Dr. Millman noted those who develop ASN…
Many teenagers may be a bit narcissistic. It is usually a normal stage of development and self-corrects over time with the right parental guidance. For this reason, clinicians are reluctant to diagnose personality disorders in minors. However, when children present as consistently callous and exploitative they may be tested by for conduct disorder. When expressions of dysfunctional narcissism manifest during a…