How To Tell If A Narcissist Is Cheating With Russell Knight

How to Tell if a Narcissist is Cheating on You: Insights from a Divorce Attorney

Narcissistic AbuseBy May 21, 2023

Infidelity is a dagger of deceit that can sever deep bonds of trust in committed relationships, leaving a trail of devastation in its wake. People with pronounced narcissistic traits are prone to indulge in high-risk behaviors, including cheating on their romantic partner and lying about it to cover it up. However, behavior never lies. By following the money trail, it is possible to expose an unfaithful partner and reclaim your agency. 

Follow the Money Trail

For expert advice, we turned to Russell Knight, a Chicago-based divorce lawyer who has litigated over a thousand divorces. He is also an expert in family law and offers the following insight, “Infidelity is not cheap. To have an affair, there will be fancy dinners, hotel rooms, and gifts. None of these are free. Therefore, the evidence of the affair will always be on a credit card statement or bank account. 

There are some exceptions to the rule. However, as the financial system transitions from fiat to digital currency, the aberrations are increasingly rare.

“The only exception is if the affair-haver is working for cash and never deposits any money,” Knight reveals, “Frankly, only day laborers without fixed expenses can do that.” 

Knight’s best advice to people who suspect their partner or spouse is cheating is to follow the money.

“These types of evidence will be as plain as day. All you need to do is review your credit card expenses and bank statements.”

He also pointed out how efforts to cover up the financial evidence of cheating can place a couple or family’s financial health and well-being in jeopardy. 

“The problem is that the affair-haver will also know how obvious their paper trail will be,” he explains, referring to the unfaithful person’s need to hide extracurricular expenses from their partner, “Therefore, the affair-haver will often put their expenses on the company credit card until they are discovered and fired. Now you have a partner who cheats on you and is unemployed. Infidelity is really something!”

How to Collect Financial Evidence of a Partner’s Infidelity

Here are four tips for gathering proof that a partner or spouse has been unfaithful. 

  1. Collect and Safeguard Financial Documents: Start by meticulously gathering relevant financial documents, including bank statements, credit card bills, investment records, and tax returns. 
  2. Look for Patterns and Discrepancies: Carefully review the financial records, paying close attention to irregularities, undisclosed accounts, or suspicious expenditures. Review all unexplained withdrawals, sudden spikes in cash flow, and unknown transactions that may point to surreptitious financial activities.
  3. Enlist an Expert: Consider engaging a certified forensic accountant or an experienced divorce attorney specialized in uncovering concealed assets. Allow them to comb through financial records to discover insights for legal recourse.
  4. Seek Legal Counsel: Consult with a divorce attorney to learn about your rights and for guidance on the necessary steps to protect your interests. 


In conclusion, by following the money, it is possible to uncover invaluable insights and take back your power in the aftermath of infidelity. By collecting and analyzing financial records, leveraging professional expertise, and seeking legal advice, you can protect yourself and your family from the financial destruction that often goes hand in hand with cheating.

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Manya Wakefield is a recovery coach specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy and coercive trauma. Her expertise has been featured in publications such as Newsweek, Elle, Cosmopolitan, and Huffington Post. In 2019, she launched the social impact platform Narcissistic Abuse Rehab, building a global audience through human rights advocacy. The same year, she published the book ‘Are You In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship,’ which is used in domestic violence recovery groups around the world. In 2020, Manya developed The Coercive Control Legislation Global Database. She is also the host of The Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast, which is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Amazon.