a sad young girl

3 Effects of Narcissistic Parenting on Minor Children

Narcissistic Abuse By Mar 22, 2022

TRAUMA IS THE WORD most commonly associated with extreme narcissism – and with good reason. People who have been targeted for narcissistic abuse often scoff when the pathology is described as shame based because they are distracted by the spectacle of the narcissistic person’s formidable defenses. But in reality, narcissistic personality disorder is a post-traumatic stress adaptation. It is usually developed to resolve intense feelings of inferiority and shame often connected with psychological devastation.

Extreme narcissism is a kind of scar tissue that develops to protect unhealed trauma. It numbs, hardens, and desensitizes the mind, eventually severing consciousness from feelings of incessant vulnerability, fear, and hyper-vigilance. It restricts the ability to genuinely bond with others, making empathy an elusive prospect. The deeper the trauma, the more narcissistic people disconnect from their emotions to cope. The overarching feelings of inferiority and shame become submerged in the subconscious mind. There, a false self is generated to serve as a bulwark to keep unbearable, vulnerable emotions at bay. The words narcissist and narcotic originate from the Greek narkao which means “I numb myself”.

Early life wounds fuel the adult fury boiling under the surface of this personality type. It’s what drives the explosive narcissistic rage that detonates with every real or perceived threat to their cherished false self. It feeds their obsessive need for control and it can blind them to the fact that they perpetuate the very trauma that wounded them on others, especially their children.

3 Effects of Narcissistic Parenting on Minor Children

  1. Research shows that children who witness narcissistic abuse suffer the same degree of harm as the parent who is the primary target for the narcissist’s aggression.
  2. Children who witness or experience narcissistic abuse are at risk for long-term physical and mental health consequences.
  3. Some children who witness narcissistic abuse may have an increased propensity to act out the same violence in their own relationships.

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Author

Manya Wakefield is a recovery coach specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy and coercive trauma. Her expertise has been featured in publications such as Newsweek, Elle, Cosmopolitan, and Huffington Post. In 2019, she launched the social impact platform Narcissistic Abuse Rehab, building a global audience through human rights advocacy. The same year, she published the book ‘Are You In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship,’ which is used in domestic violence recovery groups around the world. In 2020, Manya developed The Coercive Control Legislation Global Database. She is also the host of The Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast, which is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Amazon.