Flying monkey is a popular psychology term that refers to an enabler and, in some cases, an enforcer of a narcissistic person’s agenda. According to flying monkey theory, these individuals help create an environment where perpetrators of abuse face no consequences, allowing misconduct and abuse to continue unchecked.
In this article you will learn about the different types of flying monkeys and what roles they play in narcissistic abuse dynamics.
- Defining Flying Monkey Behavior
- The Main Types of Flying Monkeys
- Psychological Foundations of Each Type
- The Impact of Different Flying Monkeys Types on Relationships
- Recognizing and Changing Flying Monkey Behavior
- The Role of Flying Monkeys in Different Contexts
- Summary
- Bibliography
Defining Flying Monkey Behavior
Text Flying monkey behaviors are symptomatic of childhood trauma / codependency
What is a Flying Monkey?
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The Difference Between Being Supportive and Being a Flying Monkey
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Why People Become Flying Monkeys
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The Main Types of Flying Monkeys
The are two main types of flying monkeys in the narcissist’s orbit.1
Benevolent Flying Monkeys
Their behavior can be a symptom of some forms of childhood trauma in that it aligns with the adoption of a sociotropic survival response of “fawning”.2
Malevolent Flying Monkeys
Their behavior can be a symptom of some forms of childhood trauma. It aligns with the adoption of a antisocial response of “fight”.
Other Types
Sometimes flying monkeys
The propensity for enabling behaviors, predicated as they are on a detachment from quotidian reality, manifests across diverse relational contexts. While observable within reciprocal interpersonal dynamics, flying monkey tendencies are also strikingly prevalent within parasocial relationships, wherein individuals cultivate a sense of imaginary intimate connection with public figures they have never encountered. For example, they can be seen in entertainment fandoms but the behavior is also prevalent in some political organizations. Examples of this phenomenon are readily discernible within entertainment fandoms. However, the manifestation of such behaviors extends beyond these contexts, exhibiting notable prevalence within certain political organizations.
Psychological Foundations of Each Type
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Why Do People Take On Flying Monkey Roles?
They are acting out their childhood trauma
The propensity for enabling behaviors, predicated as they are on a detachment from quotidian reality, manifests across diverse relational contexts. While observable within reciprocal interpersonal dynamics, flying monkey tendencies are also strikingly prevalent within parasocial relationships, wherein individuals cultivate a sense of imaginary intimate connection with public figures they have never encountered. For example, they can be seen in entertainment fandoms but the behavior is also prevalent in some political organizations. Examples of this phenomenon are readily discernible within entertainment fandoms. However, the manifestation of such behaviors extends beyond these contexts, exhibiting notable prevalence within certain political organizations.
What Influences Flying Monkey Tendencies?
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The Emotional and Psychological Toll on the Flying Monkey
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The Impact of Different Types of Flying Monkeys on Relationships
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How Each Type of Flying Monkey Affects the Narcissist
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Consequences of Ongoing Flying Monkey Behavior
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Recognizing and Changing Flying Monkey Behavior
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Identifying Your Flying Monkey Tendencies
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Healthy Boundary Setting Based on Your Flying Monkey Type
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How to be Supportive Without Stepping into the Flying Monkey Role
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The Role of Flying Monkeys in Different Contexts
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Flying Monkeys in Romantic Relationships
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Flying Monkeys in Families and Parenting
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Flying Monkeys in Workplaces and Friendships
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Summary
What are the main types of flying monkeys?
There are usually two main types of flying monkeys in a narcissistic person’s orbit. These are:
- The benevolent enabler, and
- The malevolent enabler
The benevolent enabler
A benevolent flying monkey is someone with a sociotropic nature that makes them an easy target for manipulators. Sociotrophic individuals suffer from the so-called “disease to please,” which means that they tend to put the needs of others ahead of theirs.
Often they unwittingly aid and abet a narcissistic person’s campaign of emotional abuse because predatory manipulators are quick to sniff out a sociotropic person’s powerful longing for external validation.
Benevolent flying monkeys are not consciously trying to cause harm. A benevolent flying monkey is likely to have been subjected to the narcissistic person’s love-bombing and gaslighting tactics. They are usually acting in good faith based on the narcissist’s persuasive vilification of the person they’ve targeted for abuse.
The narcissistic person will have used the DARVO tactic to manipulate their perception of events and the people involved so much so that the benevolent flying monkey wrongly views the victim-survivor as the perpetrator of the abuse. Once the narcissistic person has effectively pulled the wool over this person’s eyes, they triangulate them into the conflict and with strong incentives to protect and “rescue” the narcissist.
The malevolent enabler
A malevolent flying monkey is misanthropic in nature. They are bad faith actors who knowingly participate in narcissistic abuse because inflicting harm on others gives them a sense of power. Malevolent flying monkeys tend to identify with highly narcissistic people and NPDs because they are equally narcissistic in their own right. They usually share the same attitudes and beliefs and feel a sense of belonging in the narcissistic person or NPDs in-group.
Because a malevolent flying monkey is morally bankrupt, it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong. In fact, they are usually fully aware that an injustice is taking place. However, these types relish an opportunity to deny dignity and justice to someone who they feel is “not like them.”
Malevolent flying monkeys function as gatekeepers. Often they are foot soldiers of a larger system of oppression, i.e. sexism, racism, etc. and they engage in the conflict for the sole purpose of protecting a hierarchy that serves them.
How do narcissists recruit flying monkeys?
Wicked,” both the novel and the musical (and now the film adaptations), takes the character of the Wicked Witch of the West from “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” and provides a completely new backstory. It transforms her from a purely villainous figure into a complex and sympathetic character named Elphaba.
In “Wicked” the film, Cynthia Erivo as Elphaba, unknowingly casts a spell from the Grimmerie, that causes the wizards monkey guards to grow wings. In this narrative, Elphaba is presented as a bullied figure and she is manipulated by a more influential figure into casting the spell by the Wizard who has been using magic to subjugate the animals of Oz.
Narcissists successfully seduce flying monkeys into their ranks by appealing to their narcissism. Narcissism is an expression of self-idealization. It’s a trait that all human beings have to a greater or lesser extent.
Benevolent flying monkeys are generally prone to vulnerable or covert narcissism, while malevolent flying monkey’s narcissism is more like to show up as grandiose or overt narcissism.
Photos by Deposit Photos.
Bibliography
- Wakefield, M. (2020). The Narcissist’s Flying Monkeys. Narcissistic Abuse Rehab. ↩︎
- Wysoski, B. (2023). People Pleasing and the Fawn Survival Response. Bridger Peaks Counseling. ↩︎
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